Last night I had a dream that I was running. I wasn’t running from anything or to anything. I was just running at a comfortable and steady pace. I felt good and relaxed and free.

I’m not sure why I dream this dream. Sometimes I’m running in the countryside sometimes the city or a small town it’s never the same place twice. I use to have flying dreams and I always felt free then too. Now I just run and run to nowhere.

It’s strange because I am not and have never been an athletic person. I took up running once for a short time with the ladies at work. I only got ‘runners high’ once. Those endorphins kicked in and I felt like I could run forever. I didn’t want to stop because I knew as soon as I did stop that I wouldn’t be able to get going again and I’d feel the pain of my shin splints. I never could run without getting that awful pain in my shins so I guess that’s the reason I stopped running.

What is also strange is that I’m not fat in the running dreams or any of my dreams for that matter. I have been overweight since my late twenties (I’m forty now) and never once have I been fat in a dream. I have dreams sometimes where I am with one my ex’s and then there are one or two other sexy women that he turns his attention to, and as bad as I feel about myself at those moments I still look good. I would think that I would picture myself unattractive in those dreams but I don’t. Weird.

I said at the start that when my mania was treated that I wouldn't be motivated to write. It hate that I'm not motivated 'cause I still have things rolling around in my head that want t0 be said. It's not that I don't want to write, I just don't write. While I was in my mania when an idea popped into my head I had to write it down at that moment so I could blog it later. Now, I think something and I think, I should write that down. I just don't.