My Aunt, My Angel

I first met my aunt Gaye when I was almost thirteen. My mother was dying of cancer and when all this family started showing up out of nowhere, there she was. I knew mom's other two sisters, my brother and I had spent summers at their houses with our cousins. I didn't even know aunt Gaye existed, mom had never mentioned her.

The first thing she did is take my brother and I away from the craziness for a little while. She had this big van and my cousins, my brother and myself went on a road trip to the Alamo. It was a fun time.

I didn't see my aunt after that until I ran away from home. My aunt was the daughter of my grandpas late wife from her first marriage and he disliked my aunt intensely for that.

I was a sophmore when I ran away. I was living in Oklahoma with my grandpa and his second wife. There was always contention in the house, my grandpa and his wife only stayed together because I lived there. I took off with two guys I didn't know, thinking they were taking me to California to find my birth dad. Imagine my surprise when I ended up at a stippers house in Iowa in the middle of the night. I stayed with that lady for two months before I called the runaway hotline. I said I would come home if my grandpa let me talk to my dad. I was able to talk to my dad's parents and that was close enough for the moment. I'm not sure how it came about but my aunt Gaye drove from the Rio Grande Valley to Iowa to pick me up, she said she got her first speeding ticket ever on that trip. She took me back to the Valley to finish off the school year. For reasons I don't want to share right now I chose to go back to my grandparents for my junior year.

I got pregnant that year, I was 16. I ended up at my dad's, a person I had never even laid eyes on. I finished out my junior year, had my son and stalled out. I'm not even sure how many months my son was when my postpartum depression kicked in, maybe 4 or 5, I'm not really sure. I remember a moment when my son was crying and crying, he was sitting in his car seat. I couldn't get him to be quiet, I changed him, I tried to feed him and he wouldn't eat. I snapped and started screaming at him I felt this rage building up inside me. I threw the glass baby bottle against the wall behind him and it shattered. Glass flew everywhere and I stopped suddenly and wondered what the hell was I doing. I checked my son for glass and he didn't catch any, but I was freaked out that I could feel that way, so much rage directed at my son and I was afraid I might hurt him.

Back to my aunt Gaye. I visited her with my son, I think it was Christmas. I told her that I thought that I should give my son up for adoption before I really hurt him. She and Pop(my uncle) decided to take guardianship of him and I was spared the thought that I might never see my son again.

I went to back Cali and then for reasons I don't remember I ended up back in the Valley at my aunts place. It was heart breaking, she said I could stay there but I had to stay in the trailer out back. My son was calling her mom and I was introduced to him as mother. Oh it hurt so bad to hear him calling her mom. Again for reasons I can't remember I ended up back in Cali, I was probably misbehaving. I think that was the time I was having sex with most of my coworkers at Wendy's.

I missed my son and shortly after moving back to Cali I asked for him back. I know now how painful that must have for my aunt. She gave him back and everyone else there hated me for it. I think my son had recently turned two.

Between age 2 and the start of kindergarten my son was put through all my mistakes. Drugs, violent boyfriend, living in a homeless shelter, moving around from house to house and wearing out my welcome. My aunt my angel aunt came to visit us and she found me "looking like death" she said. She told me I could come home but...I had to clean up my act. She said she would put me through school and I wouldn't have to work, all I had to do was focus on school. I did that and got a great job after graduation that I have had now for 16 years.

In 1995 I was baptised to the Mormon church. A lot of people have trouble with non-member relatives, some even get disowned by their parents and siblings. I wasn't sure how my family would take it but everyone was great. My aunt told some traveling buddies of hers of my conversion and they had negative things to say but she told them " I don't care what people say, that girl has found Jesus". She told she had been on her knees for me for a long time. I didn't know what to say, to know that she was praying on my behalf means everything to me.

It doesn't end there. When my son was fourteen I was in a bad marriage. My son and my husband had an explosive relationship and my son went to my aunt's to live. He didn't come home until after he graduated high school and my aunt wouldn't put up with his bull anymore. And even now, while she is sick and doesn't know whats wrong, she sends my son money for college.

She has been so much more than an aunt to me. She has been my mother, my confidant, my savior. I hearby nominate her for sainthood.